God bless the homosexual men in my life. Unlike those serious, straight fellows who are always going on and on about dominion and defense strategies, polishing swords and adjusting their packages, the fops at Court have always been far more entertaining and personable. Take my cousin Mad Ludwig. O sure, he had his issues–falling in [...]
Archive for the ‘the Archduchess’ Category
my brother-in-law Lutzi Wutzi
Posted in Kings & Queens, the Archduchess, Vienna, tagged archduke Ludwig Viktor, Ludwig II, Lutzi Wutzi, mad men of Bavaria and Vienna, Sophie Charlotte on April 17, 1848 | 2 Comments »
the mothers-in-law
Posted in the Archduchess, Uncategorized, tagged archduchess sophie, monster in laws on November 21, 1848 | 2 Comments »
With all the buzz about the new TV program Monster-in-Laws, it seems that less-than-charming mothers-in-law are once again in the public eye. I am quite sure that if I were alive today I would be glued to that particular reality television show, nodding in agreement when the Relationship Expert intervenes, wagging her finger at a meddlesome [...]
all in the family
Posted in the Archduchess, tagged imperial family portrait on June 6, 1848 | Leave a Comment »
The rumors are true. There is but one “legitimate” family portrait that features me, my husband, his family and our children. It is this portrait at right. Before there was Photoshop, there was the photomontage expert. Smart handlers who knew how to juxtapose likenesses of us all in order to convey normal royal family togetherness. [...]
sibling rivalry never goes out of style.
Posted in royal wedding, the Archduchess, tagged kate and pippa, sisi and nene on May 13, 1848 | Leave a Comment »
Sisters. Can’t love with them, can’t love without them. It has more than come to light that at the latest royal wedding, all eyes were not on Kate. Some were on her younger sister, Pippa. Many, in fact, were on her younger sister. Including those of the spare heir, the paparazzi, and her increasingly anxious [...]
issue. and that rhymes with tissue.
Posted in Child-rearing, Kings & Queens, the Archduchess on February 3, 1848 | Leave a Comment »
My kingdom for an HEIR! A male heir, that is. The cry was heard throughout the world, issued by wives and their protectors. For until the 20th century confirmed that the sperm donors, not the incubators, determined the sex of a child, women took the rap. Remember Anne Boleyn? The chopping block stood more than [...]
sexting with the count
Posted in Beauty, Boys!, tarts & harlots, the Archduchess on January 2, 1848 | Leave a Comment »
Ah, the blogs. The tweets. The texts. So many forms of expression! No need for a go-between, these days, to deliver a sliver of wit, of inspiration. All right, I’ll just say it. A dollop of lust. In the Hof, during my daily hairdressing sessions where I was attended to by coiffe -masters, Greek tutors, [...]
me and marie
Posted in the Archduchess, Victorian Culture on November 16, 1848 | Leave a Comment »
Marie Antoinette was my husband’s grandfather’s aunt, and, secretly, I idolized her. Various portraits of “Madame Deficit” –as the French continue to refer to her–hung about both the Hof and the summer castle, Schönbrunn. Sure, her life ended badly, but it was great fun while it lasted. She had a sanguine temperament (unlike me and [...]
why my sister did not become empress of austria
Posted in Beauty, corsets & crinolines, Kings & Queens, the Archduchess, tagged Empress Elisabeth, Helene of Thurn Taxis on September 20, 1848 | Leave a Comment »
Alas, poor Nené, my humorless sister. As the eldest daughter in an inbred family full of loons, she was the only sane one and for all of her sanity, she very nearly became an old maid. As you all know, I was “that little monkey” who was dragged to Bad Ischl as an afterthought that [...]
In which I first meet the Archduchess
Posted in Child-rearing, Kings & Queens, the Archduchess, Victorian Culture on August 19, 1848 | Leave a Comment »
The first time I laid eyes on the woman who would eventually ruin my life, she disappointed me. In the flesh, the woman for whom we’d practiced hours curtseying was nothing more than a fluffed up matron. Grey hair roughly pulled off a deeply-lined forehead revealed tired, dull eyes. Her many necklaces tiered heavily round [...]
