helene, helene, the beauty queen

she set the standard for faux-virginal beauty

No, not my sister, Helene.  I’m speaking of Helene Sedlmayr, the toymaker and pretender of virtue.  Just look at her falsely chaste gaze! Her innocent countenance!  She fooled many a trusting wife as she descended upon countless noblemens’ houses, her arms filled with playthings as she masqueraded as Mother Santa Claus.

The real story is this:  she earned a pittance as a toymaker, and discovered that her great beauty and enviously slender waist could fetch much more than her marionettes!  The little harlot had quite the supplemental income, before and after her marriage to my uncle’s valet.

Odd, I surmised quite smartly (if I do say so myself), that Frau Sedlmayr bore ten children, many of whom sported Uncle Ludwig’s signature red tresses!

Quite a lovely girl, though, I must admit. You may see for yourself, should you visit Munich and take a little trip to the infamous Gallery of Beauties.