getting in shape in 1875

who needs a gym membership when you have an abs ladder in your toilette!

Now that we’re nearing the end of the 19th century, I notice more and more that my countrymen suffer from sloth and the constant pursuit of satiety.  A bunch of lazy fatties, they!  I hereby vow, in this new year, to lead by example each and every day.  Herewith I bring you my resolutions.

I resolve to…

Exercise for three hours with my leather and iron trapeze

Eat nothing but a palm-sized slab of venison or rabbit for lunch

Take a spoon of game blood for iron

Eschew all cakes and tarts whatsoever

…unless it’s one of my children’s birthdays

…or the Emperor’s

Ride my horses at least once a week

…or if  my back is acting up, take a four-hour hike

Drink at least eight steins of spring water

Take my cod liver oil without pinching my nose