Summer has arrived in the Northern hemisphere, and, like all Imperial ladies, I cannot endure the out-of-doors without my trusty parasol.
It is of unceasing amazement that in modern times not only do women frolic about unprotected from the sun, but, should their days require too much time spent indoors, they flock to boutiques that specialize in cooking their skin to the color of dung and consistency of leather!
Now, I am a fan of nature, of sun, and fresh air. Of mountains and the sea. Of hours unbidden to trek amongst the Edelweiss. That opening image from Sound of Music? The nun lifting her fair face to the sky? Well, the spirit of that shot has always lain deep within me. However, we ladies have our rules, and I submit, forthwith:
1. One must carry a light-coloured parasol over the left shoulder at an angle to shield from the right
2. In the right hand, one must hold a fan for extra sun protection, and to keep perspiration at bay.
3. In times of dust, the veil is a lady’s best friend. (And it also protects from unwanted staring, should one be required to tarry about a public square.)
4. Hats. Thanks to Kate, they are increasingly popular amongst the well-bred. In the 19th century–not so much. Hats were tolerated for the children, but I never could bear the damage to my carefully tended coif.
In conclusion, I must issue this warning to all you devotees of the tanning bed: it is the work of the devil, and will soon bring its unfortunate consequences. Get thee to a remedy post-haste! Find your local apothecary and stock up on slug-creme!