Some truths

 Not that you asked…

1. Start each day with a four mile trek. Followed by a vial of calf’s blood.
2. Add a dram of cognac to three dove’s yokes and slather on your hair once a fortnight until stiff. Rinse with rain water.
3. If you must eat peas, eat an odd number of them. It’s for luck, dears.
4. You can minimize perspiration by pinching your earlobes. Really.
5. To strengthen and slim the ankles, make a circle with each foot one hundred times daily. Then reverse the circles.
6. Should you sneeze during chapel, unwelcome news will befall you. Should you sneeze before bed, you will dream of good fortune.
7. When it comes to pets, always have dogs in twos. But should you keep a monkey, he must be your only one, or he may be driven to the demon rum.